New Divide
by angeleyenc
Summary: Sam didn't realize how he and Dean got out of the convent. He just stared straight ahead feeling numb, like a zombie even. Oneshot takes place after Lucifer rising. got inspired by Linkin Parks "New divide."


A/N:I got inspired by once again Linkin park.. I love this band! If you haven't heard their new song New Divide... It so kiss ass!! It's part of the new transformers: revenge of the fallen.. movie. (man i can't wait to se it!) any way i'm rambling.. Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.. this takes place after Lucifer's Rising.

_I remember black skies  
The lightning all around me  
I remember each flash  
As time began to blur  
Like a startling sign  
That fate had finally found me _

_And your voice was all I heard  
That I get what I deserve _

Sam couldn't remember how both he and Dean made it our of St. Mary's convent. He was completley numb, a zombie. He just kept hearing Dean's words in his head. "Your a monster Sam, we should stop pretending to be brothers. Your a freak, you always have been." Sam didn't realise he was clutching his head in his hands. 'Stop, just stop it' he thought. Sam curled in onto himself. He felt trapped. The darkness was closing in on him. Everything was his fault. Dean was right. He was a monster. 'Stop, no, no..' He didn't realize he was screaming. Then he felt arms around him. He was trying to break free but the arms wouldn't let him. Sam heard the words in his head they kept taunting him. Sam's body shook with sobs. He didn't realize he wasn't breathing until he heard Dean tell him to breathe. "Sh, breathe Sammy. Breathe, it's okay. I gotcha."

_So give me reason  
To prove me wrong  
To wash this memory clean  
Let the thoughts cross  
The distance in your eyes  
Give me reason  
To fill this hole  
Connect the space between  
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies  
Across this new divide _

Dean hadn't realized how he and Sam got out of that convent, he heard the words his father used the night his mother died, "take sam and go; go dean go" He grabbed Sam and ran out to the stolen car Sam must have taken. The light was blinding in that room where Lucifer was kept prison but now was set free. Dean gunned the engine and got out of dodge as quickly as possible. Dean didn't stop. It was about a couple hours later that he noticed Sam had yet to say anything. Infact Sam was just staring straight ahead, he looked numb, zombie like even. Dean tried calling his name but Sam didn't seem to hear him. He pulled over to the side of the road and only then did Sam start screaming. He was clutching his head in his hands and shaking with sobs. Dean pulled Sam to him but Sam was trying to break free. He tighten his hold on Sam. Tears were starting to form in Dean's eyes but he held them back. He realized Sam wasn't breathing and said, "Sh, breathe Sammy. Breathe, it's okay. I gotcha." Then the tears fell.

_There was nothing inside  
The memories left abandoned  
There was nowhere to hide  
The ashes fell like snow  
And the ground caved in  
Between where we were standing _

_And your voice was all I heard  
That I get what I deserve _

Neither brother said anything. Then they were driving again. Sam continued to stare straight ahead. He tried to sleep but everytime he closed his eyes he could see that blinding white light coming at him and a horrible monster in it's wake. Although that monster wasn't lucifer, it was him. He kept hearing Dean's voice in his head. He tried to bloke it out but it kept coming back. All those words, "Monster, freak, dissapointment, were not brothers." Sam started to scream again even though no sound would come out still clutching his head. Dean pulled off to the side again and held Sam, hoping that this would pass. And hoping that his little brother would stop screaming. 'Please, god, help us' was his only thought.

"Sh, Sammy, it's okay." He kept saying that over and over again hoping to calm his erratic brother. Then Sam stopped altogether. His body finally gave out. It felt like when Sam was detoxing from the demon blood only he wouldn't stop screaming. Dean tried to bloke it out but the tears came anyway. Dean held him tighter.

_So give me reason  
To prove me wrong  
To wash this memory clean  
Let the thoughts cross  
The distance in your eyes  
Across this new divide _

The next time Sam woke up he was staring up at a ceiling. His eyes held bags under his eyes and his whole body ached from lying in one position for quite a while. He looked to his surroundings and saw Dean sitting in a chair right by his bed, he looked even worse than before. Sam started to speak but no words came out. His throat was parched, dry. Dean handed Sam a cup of water and Sam gladly drank from it. Sam handed the cup back to Dean and placed it on the night stand. Sam was about to speak but Dean beat him to it. "Bobby's" was all Dean said. Sam hoisted himself up and leaned against the pillow. "How long was i out?" "Two Days." Sam nodded. "Dean i'm-"Dean shook his head. "No, don't, just rest." "You should sleep too." Dean got up and motioned for sam to skoot layed down with an arm wrapped around Sam. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Sam held Dean closed too.

_And every loss and every lie  
And every truth that you deny  
And each regret and each goodbye  
Was a mistake too great to hide_

_And your voice was all I heard  
But I get what I deserve _

The next time Sam woke up he saw that Dean still had an arm wrapped around him only like he ws clinging to him for dear life. Sam gently distangled himself from Dean and got up and quietly walked out of the room. He went down downstairs and found Bobby in the kitchen. Bobby saw Sam and motioned for him to sit. Sam felt bad when he last saw Bobby and knocked him out with the but of his gun. "Listen, bobby, i'm sorry about last time." "You gave us quite a scare, you know that right." "Yeah." "Just promise me something" "Okay." "Don't ever leave us like that again." "Okay." Sam smiled. Bobby handed Sam some coffee. Sam gladly took it. "Okay, now we have to find a way to stop lucifer." "How?" "Grab a book. i'll start making breakfeast. Heaven forbid your brother is gonna need it. No pun intended." Sam smiled. He got up and went to bobby's living room and grabbed a book. He sat down on the couch and opened it and started reading. After a while Dean came down and saw Sam on the couch buried in books. He smiled. 'Just like old times' he thought. He walked on over and sat down besides Sam. Sam looked over and gave a small smile. Dean smiled too and got to researching. Yep, it was going to be a long road ahead but their winchesters their life is never easy.

_So give me reason  
To prove me wrong  
To wash this memory clean  
Let the thoughts cross  
The distance in your eyes  
Give me reason  
To fill this hole  
Connect the space between  
Let it fill up to reach the truth and lies  
Across this new divide_

_Across this new divide  
Across this new divide_

Review? Please?


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